50 year old guy keep posting the same profile pic

*Puts car in neutral*

Everyone has a sandwich that they think about for the rest of their life

Me plotting out the perfect exit when I've reached my social limit

My kid coming to ask me if they can eat a family size bag of chips

I'd be so unstopable if I wasn't sleepy all the time

Parents: So, did you clean the dishes while we were gone?

I'm so glad I'm single

When I'm late for class