When everything is falling apart at work

When you try to put a Dorito in your mouth long side first

Did you cut your own bangs?

Promise you won't tell anyone

Going back to your ex is like trying to warm up McDonald's in a microwave

My cat: I lost my toy under the couch

This is what I lost most during my childhood

Most people don't want to be rich

When the wind blows a leaf across our yard at night