I'm not always on my phone

I have a wahing machine

Me before clicking "pay now"

When you show up to your job but have no intention of actually doing any work

When you send a meme to your friend across the room

Have you ever borrowed yourself your own money that you had saved for something but used it for something else and promise to repay yourself?

Me: *takes a bite of the sandwich*

*Puts car in neutral*

You can fake a lot of things in life