I skip the first slice of bread
What am I doing???
How I wasted my life looking at memes
Stabbing my cereal 3 times before the 1st bite to activate the flavor
Cheer up, you only need to work tomorrow and 45 more years
The 3 year old bag of frozen peas in my freezer watching me grab pizza rolls again
Me trying to convince my kids this milkshake tastes bad
Cashier: would you like to donate $5 to a very good cause?
When yomeone asks you to speak about yourself
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